Do you think you are giving the best to your children? Wanting the best for our children is the motivation to parents’ day to day relentless and hard work. Years and decades spent in earning money, not just to raise a child up, but to raise a child well. Parents send children to the best schools, the best tuition centres, the best enrichment programmes, the best holiday camps, the best one-to-one personal tutor et cetera. Apart from educational or developmental avenues, a lot of money is spent in the process such as learning resources like books, musical instruments, uniforms, events or trips, transportation and the list goes on. Parents no doubt want the best for their children. We want them to be the best they can ever be, and take up the heavy burden willingly and unconditionally to pave the way of security, success and happiness for our children. But is this really the best?
If the above description sounds like you, it is time to pause and think and ask yourselves “What is really the best for my children?”. It is common to hear parents say “I want my child to be happy ultimately”, “I want them to enjoy doing what they like” or “I want them to pursue their dreams”, but the question is how do we as parents get there? The problem is we assume that we know what is best for our child. We think the solution is to give them everything we can get our hands on. Endless hours of tuition, art classes, interpersonal skills development, sports activities, you name it! No doubt these are good for some children, but are they necessarily good for your children?
Your Child does not need everything |
Everything is too much for your child. Realistically speaking, there is no way a child can excel in anything and everything. We know that, yet out of our loving concern for them, we send them to all the classes to hone every aspect of their lives. As a result, instead of achieving our good intentions, children may be impacted negatively. Though this may not be the case for everybody, studies have shown that high expectations from parents, educators and students themselves to perform excellently in their academics can be a source of heighten stress among students (Tan and Yates, 2011).
By putting too much pressure on children, their mental health is negatively affected. Mental health relates to major issues such as depression, anxiety and stress which are growing in prevalence (Lee and Syaid, 2017). Reports from the National Health and Morbidity Survey in 2012 and 2017 reported a rise of suicidal ideation, plan and actual attempts among Malaysian youths as young as 13 to 17 years old (Institute for Public Health, 2017; Institute for Public Health, 2012).
It was also discovered that 1 in 5 adolescents are depressed, 2 in 5 are anxious and 1 in 10 are stressed (Institute for Public Health, 2017). One underlying cause for mental health issues are academic and environmental factors, which consequently impair one’s development, productivity and poor achievement in learning. With your child’s mental health affected, it becomes difficult for your child to develop his or her potential (Lee and Syaid, 2017).
Your child needs a push into the right direction. |
Every child is unique. Rather than helping your child excel in everything which is obviously not feasible, what they really need is proper guidance to what they are naturally good at. Instead of aiming blindly and diverting your attention and theirs, parents should devote and dedicate all resources into areas that they have potential in. By doing this, parents can save plenty of time and money in the long run. At the meantime, you take the heavy stressful workload off your children’s shoulders and provide much room for them to enjoy their passions.
Research has shown that children learn better in a positive environment whereby both their developmental and social needs are met (Willis, 2007; Smith, et al., 2016). Enjoyment in a learning institution also reinforces their academic aspiration, which subsequently improve their health and academic performance (Smith, et al., 2016).
Joy in learning also leads to improved information processing and long-term memory storage. A pleasurable learning experience releases a neurotransmitter known as dopamine which stimulates the brain’s memory centre to release acetylcholine which aids in prolonging attention span. On the other hand, stress, boredom, lack of motivation, confusion and anxiety hinders your child’s learning experience (Willis, 2007).
But the question remains: “How do we know our children’s interest as early as their infant years?”.
Giving them the best by knowing your children. |
Children development starts as early as their infant years. The first few years are a critical developmental period for the optimal growth. Yet, knowing your children takes time, it takes years as they grow and learn. Conventionally, parents use old-fashioned trial and error methods to find what works best with their children. When early stage of life is so critical that we cannot afford losing the opportunity, how then can we know our children since young? The answer lies in their DNA.
DNA are genetic molecules that everybody inherits from their parents and it functions to code for proteins and cells in your body, in other words, it makes up who you are as a fully functional and amazing person! Your hair is a certain colour because your DNA “instructs” it so, your body creates enzymes in your stomach because your DNA determines so, and the applications are endless. Needless to say, your child’s DNA can inform you about their developmental traits in as many as 5 key areas such as their talents, Intelligence quotient (IQ), Emotional quotient (EQ), Personality and Overall Wellness. These “hidden” information stored in their DNA allows you to make focused decisions in building him or her up, by navigating their learning processes or choices wisely. By knowing their strengths and weaknesses, you can take early measures to curb the foreseen challenges they will face, while enhancing their potential, all these being done in a positive stress-free environment.